Its a little late but better late than never!
So I hit the big 27 on the 9th of November and it actually turned out to be a quiet birthday which I celebrated for an entire weekend. I know lol
Its all fun and games or cakes and candles but I really was looking forward to getting to the heart of the matter and do a birthday post because I have a lot to share.
What have I learned in the past 27 years of my life or the past year? I have not yet reached that ripe age to share big life events or experiences but I do feel I have matured into being a bit more emotionally intelligent, patient and thoughtful.
The road so far…
On Money Honestly I have always believed that money is for saving and that we work and live for the future but; my perception on this has changed, am not saying that I am not saving anymore but am saying you can use your money right now to live a little, invest it and earn interest on it. Please don’t leave your money idle in a bank account or in a shoe box under your bed. Get it out there and make it work.
On Time there is no better time than the present. I’ve always worried about the future. How will I end up, have I saved enough, will I be all alone with 9 cats etc all the while neglecting the present moment of my life. The time is now honestly. live it and enjoy it because you just won’t get it back. The future will come and you have no influence on it, you can only influence the now.
On Love I have realized that I was delusional about many things and mostly about men and love. I am sure it is still a learning curve. So far I know Ive got to be wanted, I have to be where love and respect is served and that If he’s not said it then its not to be acted upon. So you young woman its alright to wait for someone who gives you that attention, don’t let movies and fairy tales over “romanticise” love. Its so much more than butterflies and telepathic connections. Its patience, dedication and sacrifice.
On that note; please us young women, lets not be caught up in the ” I gave him everything ” scenario. Lately I received the best advice on this. You don’t have to give him everything because then what will you have left for you? Do it because its from the bottom of your heart and you won’t feel pushed or commanded to do. Do it because you want to. Just don’t give everything, keep some for your self.
I used to think wanting marriage and children meant I didn’t want to be successful or dedicated to my independence. I was afraid to say these things out loud because then am not feminist enough or that if it doesn’t happen then its just another big disappointment.
Truth is, I do want to have these things. Have children who are like me and to raise them to be a part of the society I want to see. To be with someone for the rest of my life would make me feel secure. To have a friend for life who will understand me and not judge me. I do want those things and hope they happen and if they don’t then I will just accept it as life. We are slaves to fate after all.
On Friendship this one has been a tough one. Friends come and go,thats the honest truth. If it no longer serves you and theres nothing for you to gain or you are treated like bread crumbs; walk away or let it walk away.
We change everyday and with that our relationships change. Am not the same person I was last year and not even today at breakfast. I learn everyday and my opinion changes, unless you can love and accept me as a friend (vice versa) then there really is nothing to work on.
Communication is paramount. Speak. talk. Understand. We are imperfect people in a friendship that is suppose to give that environment of understanding and love. If we can not communicate then we have an issue. speak from a place of love and no judgement. My rule is always that, if you didn’t say it then it wasn’t important but if it comes out somehow then your integrity is questionable.
Ive learned that we are never too old to make new friend. I have met some wonderful people this year with whom I can not wait to grow a great relationship.
On Family this is a ride or die type. You have no choice but to survive it. I will say this though, if this relative is not a positive addition to your life then cut them off. I don’t find competition within the family healthy because we are here to support each other not envy. So if that cousin or niece makes a funny comment then maybe you shouldn’t discuss your life with them.
Even in family, you need to know who you can and can not speak to. Who to tell your plans to because honestly its not only strangers that could wish you ill.
Family is a beautiful bond we must still navigate with wisdom and love. Its a beautiful thing to have people who are like you and you can always relate to.
On Careers/Jobs work to move on some day. To better pastures because I can not imagine being in the same place for a long time with no change or growth.
Take a break from work because they won’t understand when you’re struggling. They’re paying you to deliver.
You’re not there to make friends either, make your money and go home.
Office politics? Don’t get involved but show up for work events and stand up for your colleagues, be a leader.
On Life Plans tell no one, just do it.
On Life in General enjoy it, live and laugh. Happiness has always been a bit of an exaggeration for me. I believe in being content. because we will never really have everything or enough. So be grateful for what you have and cherish it. Be ambitious and set goals. Go on holidays and spend some time alone. Buy that expensive bag if you can afford it because you work hard. Spend time with good people, drink good wine and learn something new everyday.
Nothing and no one is perfect. Accept things as they are.
Life is beautiful and full of splendors and surprises. Cry too. I used to not cry because I thought it meant I was not strong but all it made was a very angry person and now that I let myself shed tears now and then I feel some kind of relief.
Onto 28 I go, I welcome new experiences and all life has in store with open arms.